Let me ask you this Question?
At the start of a relationship is the boy in love selecting the girl or is the girl, who is actually selecting the boy?
Does a boy really have choices or is it a girl accepting a boy?
It’s confusing, right?
Let me break this down so you can think about it.
FYI: The information mentioned below is only for boys (but am not stopping you from reading if you are a girl).
Am sure you would have proposed a girl by now, unless and until you are living under a rock alone or that you are not interested in girls!
But you see there might be no chance or even fewer chances where a girl would have proposed to you, at least until now.
Did you know that this chance is 0.0001% of all the girls that you have met in life so far?
Trust me this is from not just my experience, but what I have seen or understood from all my friends (boy) and peers who have been trying to be in a love relationship with a girl.
Right from stalking (not in the wrong way) them daily to trying to impress them by celebrating their parents’ birthday (lol).
Am not saying that you are not good-looking or charming for girls to queue up to you.
Hey no offense, but believe me a girl in love who wants a long-term relationship doesn’t fall for you (boy) because you are charming, or good-looking.
There are a few other factors, which we will definitely discuss towards the end of this conversation.
Now think about this – you proposed to a girl, and she said nothing (yeah, complete silence – I ####ing hate this part), said she will get back to you like some of those HR folks.
And you get frustrated for weeks, without a reply. (This is the exact reason how I became damn good at Sales – don’t ask me why)
And finally, with loads of embarrassment and expectation, you ask her out again.
Still, She doesn’t reply. (This is how I got extremely good at sales)
You see in sales 98% of the time clients don’t respond to you back, they keep you waiting in the dark. And you keep following up in a subtle way trying to not offend them, this needs a lot of tolerance. It isn’t easy as this drains your time, energy, money, and especially confidence.
In sales, I call it the EMC3 technique – 1 Email, 1 WhatsApp Message, and 1 Call. If you still don’t get a reply – then better move on!
So let’s get back to the picture: you moved on to the next girl something like benching (look it up on the search tab above) in the latest GenZ lingo.
And damn, this new girl instantly says a Yes, WTF 1.
And now you feel like you are in love again or something with this new girl.
So You take her out, have fun dating, have coffee, and a lot more.
And you in the most dumbest way possible post your personal feelings about her on the internet and upload mushy pics with her on social and WhatsApp statuses – why man?
Then it happens, one midnight you get a DM on WhatsApp from the other girl (first one) who didn’t even respond to you even after proposing to her for the 2nd/3rd time – that’s WTF 2.
You are again confused now as you seriously liked option 1, and dreamt of spending quality time with her, but ended up getting option 2 only.
Then you start to self doubt your capabilities and also your relationship with the 2nd Girl (which is quite unfair).
Your brain and heart try to play games with you, they debate on the options you have.
They start easily messing up your professional life slowly.
Then suddenly you are not able to focus on that presentation, your client meetings no longer end up with deal closures, and your colleagues start complaining to higher management that you are mostly off work.
You royally start missing the real game while your entire focus is now on whether is it option 1 or option 2 or is there even an option 3 (man, this is insane if there are more options coming in).
You actually wanted the 1st girl but got the 2nd girl whom you needed.
Want vs Need is the most ####ed up situation in anyone’s life ever, whether it is in a career or personal life.
It’s a constant tug-of-war between desires and necessities, aspirations and practicality.
In a career, you might want a high-paying job with prestige and perks, but you might need a role that aligns with your values, provides work-life balance, fuels your passion, or even gives you that space to think for yourself and make your own decisions and try new things for boosting revenue for your company rather than stick to the traditional book of how-to-do-it-only-this-way. The glamorous job may look appealing with a fancy designation, but if it drains your mental energy or compromises your long-term goals, you end up questioning your choices.
Similarly, in your personal life, you might want a luxurious lifestyle, material possessions, or a relationship that seems perfect on the surface. However, what you truly need could be emotional fulfillment, meaningful connections, or peace of mind or just financial freedom. The shiny distractions often make it harder to recognize what genuinely matters.
This struggle often leads to confusion and emotional turmoil.
You see balancing wants and needs requires deep self-awareness, prioritization, and ignoring what society wants you to be or do.
Am sure you have witnessed this – your peer or neighbor buys a new car and you are instantly thinking – is it time for me to buy a new one, should I buy a higher one, should I buy two new cars otherwise, or should I buy a higher variant of the same car he/she has bought and so on.
Now I hope you understand WTF I was trying to help you see through?
It’s about understanding the difference between short-term gratification and long-term happiness. Don’t try to be a monkey imitating another.
Only then can you make choices that truly serve your growth and well-being.
Make yourself happy before trying to make someone else happy – especially parents.
Because if you are happy then folks around you will be automatically happy – they will not have a choice to be otherwise.
<So are you still going to get what you Want or Need?>
Here below is my latest book on how sales folks can improve their pitch – do check it out:
